In the society in which we live, everyone is fixated with making a lot of money. In the United States, we have managed to make your net worth synonymous with your self-worth. Most people have no idea how to make their lives better. Even worse, most people find themselves driving in the ruts of everyday life. What I want to talk about is the way you get out of those wheel ruts that tend to hold you back.

I read a quote that said, “If you want something you have never had, you must do something you have never done.” Doing something you have never done, requires you to come out the box of your everyday life. I’ve learned this, life becomes scary when you come out of the box of your everyday life. We are programmed from childhood, “Get a routine, keep that routine.” When we break the routine, we are chastised.

During April of 2017, I found myself around DFW Airport in Dallas. For me to get where I needed to go, I had to get on 635! Yea, 635, at 7:45a. Right in the middle of rush hour traffic. As I slowly made my way along 635 east, traffic was bumper to bumper, stop and go. Every emotion I could think of visited me during that drive in the early morning. I kept thinking, where are all these people going?

A better question, why does it seem the whole city of Dallas is on 635 this morning! I cursed, laughed out loud and thought about getting off the freeway and taking surface streets. I stayed the course. When I got to US75, something miraculous happened. The bulk of traffic on the freeway took the south exit, which takes you downtown. The rest took the north exit, which takes you to the northern suburbs.

In that quick moment, that split second, the bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic was gone! I now had my choice of which of the five lanes I wanted to drive in! I was in driving heaven! I could go 70 miles per hour and not have to worry about rear ending a car that just came to a sudden stop. Sidebar, if you have ever driven on a Dallas freeway, you know it is normal to be going 70 miles an hour and have traffic come to a complete stop!

As I drove along 635, happy that I’m making good time, I had a thought. This is the same way it is when you are climbing the ladder of life. When you travel the same way as the crowd, the pathway is congested, and you travel at a much slower pace. When you get past the crowded box everybody has been stuffed into, you realize there is less turbulence. When you are on a plane and there is turbulence, the pilot goes higher, they never go lower.

How do you get past the turbulence of life? How do you get out the box we have been stuffed into? The first thing, find out who you are. Where is your happy space? What makes you happy? Until you find out what gives you pleasure, what makes you happy, you can’t understand your purpose in life. For a long time, I thought my happy place was reading. I love to read. After I wrote my first novel, I realized my happy place was writing. 

When you have a happy place, it improves your mood and the way you feel about yourself. When you find yourself in one of those “moods” you can go to your happy place. If you are unable to go to your happy place, you can think about being in your happy place. This will improve your mood and attitude. Just because we live in a world filled with negativity and people with a bad attitude, it does not mean we have to be one of them.

Another way to get past the turbulence of life, carve out some time for yourself. We deal with the stress of spouses, work, and family each day. Why don’t we have time for ourselves? When you carve out time for ourselves, we have permission to be creative. We also have time to breathe. I’m amazed at the number of people who are miserable and don’t know the simple steps they can take to become less miserable.

Make no mistake, when I was in that bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic, I was miserable. The moment traffic dissipated, and I was able to go the speed limit, I was in a temporary happy place! This brings me to the point I want to make. During that bumper to bumper, stop and go drive, you know what I heard? Horns, plenty of horns blowing! That let me know, there were some frustrated drivers.

The next thing I realized was the number of people who were not going to let another car merge in front of them. I thought, “there are some unhappy people out here this morning!” I thought, “Why don’t they have a happy place they can go to?” The whole time I was driving along, I was thinking of things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, people I wanted to see. I was in the traffic, but the traffic was not on my mind!

I was not happy about the bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic. I was not going to let it ruin my day. I viewed it as a phase I had to go through, to get where I wanted to go. When you set goals in your life, there will be times you have bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic. Keep going and there will be a break in traffic. The congestion will go away. As I often say, “Ya gotta be in it, to win it.”

If you enjoyed this blog or have ideas you’d like me to write on feel free to email me at vkwhitfield01@gmail.com, or send me a tweet, @victorwhitfield.

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